Healthy people are drawn to those who like themselves. Being around people who have confidence in their worth and abilities will build your own self-esteem.
Many believe their value comes from their performance in different areas of life (career, health, finances, marriage, etc.). When they do well, they get validation and feel valued. On the flip side, many feel worthless when they don’t achieve what they hoped.
Getting your value from your performance or the opinions of others is believing a lie. One of my all-time favorite books, You Are Special, addresses this magnificently.
You Won’t Build Self-Confidence From:
- What others think about you
- Your job or career or where you work
- Your achievements
- What you own (car, home, business, etc.)
- How much money you have
- Your kids, spouse, friends
- The credentials/degrees you’ve earned
- Your physical appearance
- The condition of your health
- Your skills and abilities
You Will Gain Confidence From 2 Things
1. Face Your Fears
This means taking actions that challenge you to grow, like reaching out to people professionally and personally and letting go of the outcome. This means taking emotional risks where you could get rejected.
2. Take Ownership of Your Life
This means that you don’t blame anyone for how you feel. You don’t blame circumstances, situations, or people for how you are handling what happened in your past. When you own your life, you’re choosing to let go of resentments and move toward your vision for the future. You’re taking 100% ownership of what happens in your future. Taking ownerships means forgiving yourself. There’s freedom in ownership.
3. Couragously Be Yourself
You cannot fix an internal problem with an external solution. The solution to liking yourself lies within YOU. Get to know yourself. Your uniqueness comes from the traits and life experiences you’re proud of, and your failures and weaknesses. The adversities you’ve been through can become your greatest tools for helping others.
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves by seen.” – Brene Brown
3 Questions To Know Yourself Better
1. How are you put together (personality traits, strengths)?
2. What consistently draws your attention (passions and interests)?
3. What life experiences, good and bad, have shaped you the most?
Here’s a fillable pdf worksheet called Know Your True Value Worksheet to guide you through the process of identifying your positive intrinsic traits.
You can only be your true self if you know your worth. Knowing your worth gives you the confidence to face life’s challenges. It gives the confidence to face rejection. If you feel good about yourself, it’s much easier to not take how other people treat you personally, as you’ll remain aware that how they act is a reflection of them, not you.
If you found this information helpful, SUBSCRIBE TODAY to access my free video & worksheet, Shatterproof Yourself: 7 Small Steps to a Giant Leap in Your Mental Health.
Related Content
18 Ways to Build Self-Confidence (post) – by Adam Gragg
Kickstart Your Self-Confidence (post) – by Adam Gragg
Take Risks Frequently (post) – by Adam Gragg
How to Like & Value Yourself (post) – by Adam Gragg
How to Be a Better Friend to Yourself (self) – by Adam Gragg
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