I rationalize and justify avoiding doing things where I can potentially feel rejected or embarrassed. Perfectionism, procrastination, and distractions get my attention rather than getting important things done.
For example, I can avoid sales activities due to fear of rejection. I justify my avoidance through excuses (e.g., “I’m too busy”, “I’m not ready”., etc.) and negativity (e.g.,”They won’t be interested”, “I will bother them”, etc.)
The benefits of facing my fears far outweighs the embarrassment and rejection I may experience. Remembering these benefits energizes and motivates me to do scary stuff. Here are 7 of the biggest benefits.
7 Unexpected Benefits to Facing Your Fears
1. Anxiety Fades
Doing things I’m intimidated to do each day keeps fear from taking over my mindset. When you’re brave, you gain evidence that much of what you feared isn’t true. When you do something courageous, you build momentum to more scary things.
2. Your Ego Shrinks
Your ego’s top priority is to keep you safe. Its primary emotion is fear. The more you play it safe, the bigger your ego and anxiety grows. When you risk rejection and embarrassment, you feed your faith and starve your ego.
3. Increased Creativity
There’s no space for creativity when your attention is focused on safety self preservation. When you say “no” to fear, that energy that went toward self preservation is freed up to go towards growth and creativity.
4. Relationships Improve
People driven by fear keep others at a safe distance. Their need for control in relationships pushes good and trustworthy people away. The friendliest people and most joyful people I know all have the courage LIVE life rather than playing it safe.
5. New Opportunities Arise
Life is never boring for the brave. When we play it safe, we miss tremendous opportunities. Criticism, negativitity, and arrogance is all fear and insecurity in disquise. We criticize what we are afraid to experience as justification for not doing something positive where we might fail.
6. Improved Health
Your central nervous system rests and digests after doing something brave. As we live courageously, our self worth increases and increased self worth always leads to improved self care (e.g., nutricion, exercise, hydration, etc.)
7. Increased Self-Confidence
You are only being brave when you actually do something you’re afraid to do. You’re only courageous when you engage something without any guarantee of success. Your self-confidence only increases AFTER you do something you doubted you could do.
Take Action
Rate yourself on each of the activities below. Give yourself a 1 for each action that would cause you moderate to high anxiety. Give yourself a 0 for each action that would cause you low anxiety or no anxiety.
27 Brave Actions You Can Take Starting Today
- Call a friend you haven’t connected with recently saying, “you were on my mind, how’s everything going?” Leave them a voicemail if they don’t answer.
- Approach a stranger to learn about something you notice about them. For example, “Cool car, how do you like it ?” or “What do you think about that book you’re reading?”
- Ask someone with an interesting tatoo for the story behind it. I have found that people often enjoy talking about their tatoos.
- Ask some of these 47 questions to get to know people better to closed off and grouchy friends and family.
- Phone a friend to share something funny that you experienced recently. (e.g., “someone at work just told me the funny joke”, “you cannot beleive what my dog just did.” etc.)
- Express disagreement with another person’s opinion calmly without judgement. For example, “I see things differently, and I’m curious how you’ve come to that conclusion.”
- Bring up a topic of conversation with co-workers, friends, or family during a meeting or meal. Here’s a list of 50 excellent relationships building questions.
- Use the restroom at a gas station or restaurant without buying anything. Do not wipe down the toilet seat! 😂
- Cook something you’ve never made before for friends or family.
- Ask for help or advice from someone you know (e.g., sibling, parent, friend, etc.).
- Reach out to someone you’ve never met who seems alone somewhere (e.g., an event, restaurant, church, etc.) and start a conversation. Maybe you’ll make a new friend.
- Borrow something from a neighbor, friend, or co-worker.
- Have a garage sale or sell some stuff on eBay or Facebook. Sell something you borrowed from that neighbor (just kidding, although my friend did this my accident laugh 😂).
- Do something by yourself (e.g., attend a event, go to a movie, read a book at a coffee shop, at a meal by yourself, etc.)
- Go to a workout class you haven’t attended before (e.g., Orange Theory, yoga, CrossFit, boxing, taekwondo, water aerobics, etc.)
- Go on a walk alone around your office or neighborhood. Bonus – invite a coworker or neighbor to join you.
- Ask a stranger to take a picture of you and a friend somewhere.
- Ask for help from someone you don’t know well. For example, “Can you help me move my TV?” or “Would you mind watering my plants while I’m on vacation?”
- Try out a new hobby that interests you. Here’s a list of 100 hobbies for inspiration.
- Make a list of your top 10 favorite questions to ask and start asking your friends and family these questions. Here are my top ten questions.
- Write a top 10 article (your top 10 tips on a topic of expertise) and share it with friends and family asking for feedback.
- Speak at an event on a topic of expertise or interest (e.g.,work topic, hobby, etc.)
- Complete the Daily 5 & 5 and share your answers with a friend or family member
- Genuinely compliment a stranger. For example, “I like your shirt, purse, hat, dog or smile, etc.”.
- Start and organize a group, club, or event (e.g., golf, book club, woman’s tea, etc.)
- Buy a gift for a neighbor or co-worker for their birthday, holiday, or anniversary. Or make something for them like a cake or cookies.
- Invite people over, that your know well or don’t know well, to play games and eat something you’ve cooked.
- Share about a tough childhood challenge with a small group of safe people.
For the one’s you said “yes” to above, rate them from least to most anxiety provoking. Act on the 3 easiest (i.e., least anxiety provoking) over the next week. Let me know which 3 you’ll engage.
Taking small steps in the right direction will begins changing your mindset and give you momentum to take more brave action.
You’ll build fear-facing momentum and tolerance for doing uncomfortable stuff. You’ll even start enjoying it because you know you’re growing. Eventually instead of saying to yourself “I’m afraid to do that” you’ll say inside, “I used to be scared of that!”.
If you found this information helpful, SUBSCRIBE TODAY to receive my free video and workbook SHATTERPROOF YOURSELF LITE: 7 Small Steps to a Giant Leap in Your Mental Health.
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