7 Essentials to Building Trust

Building a Foundation Where Others Can Trust You

March 25, 2025 | Relationships
By Adam Gragg

Who in your life do you trust the most? What makes it is it easy to trust them? Who is someone you struggle to trust? What makes it hard?

How do you know when you can trust someone and how do they know they can trust you? Here are 7 essentiasl to look for and model in yourself when building trust both professionally and personally.

#1. Trust Yourself

This is the most important of all 7 keys. If someone trusts themselves, they know they can successfully navigate tough circumstances. People are drawn to those with confidence. Insecurity puts off a vibe that makes others cautious. Improve your trust in yourself by changing your damaging core beliefs, engaging in gratitude-building activities, and working on your self-worth.

#2. Stop Over-Thinking

People overthink because they’re prioritizing safety (e.g., control). Their mind won’t stop focusing on saying and doing things to control the outcome (i.e., acceptance, avoid rejection, etc.). This rarely works and is futile! Overthinking makes you vulnerable because it pulls you away from trusting your instincts. Avoid this All or Nothing Trap. Invest in self-care to get out of your head. Take risks forcing yourself to let go of the outcome.

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#3. Be Consistent

The damage caused by growing up raised by an emotionally unstable parent (i.e., addiction, untreated mental health issues, etc.) was caused by emotional inconsistency you experienced. You never knew what to expect. Sometimes you received love & acceptance and at times it’s anger and rejection. Consistency breeds trust. If you experience inconsistency (i.e., frustration when you would normally get compassion, etc.), assertively ask for clarification. Do what it takes to be consistent in your reactions.

#4. Be Predictable

Consistency develops predictability. Someone is predictable when they behave the same way over an extended period of time. When you have seen over time that someone acts in your best interests 95% of the time, they are proving they’re trustworthy. Here’s a quick video I made on the damage of inconsistency. The cliche about trust is true: “Trust takes a lifetime to build and a moment to destroy.”

#5. Prioritize Action

Believe what people do over what they say. Someone’s actions tell you the truth about someone’s character. The opposite is also true, when someone resists your feedback initially, and then changes their behavior according to what you shared, they’re building trust.

“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.” ~ Albert Einstein

#6. Be Vulnerable

This means taking action, expressing feelings, and sharing opinions when you may be rejected, judged, and criticized. This means weight not on what other people believe about you but on what you beleive about yourself. You see people’s true character when you risk trusting them.

#7. Ruthless Honesty

When someone asks you your opinion, do you tell them the truth? Surface-level honesty is easy (e.g., Where did you have lunch? Where do you work?), but emotional honesty takes courage (e.g., How do you feel about this? What’s bothering you?). Bravery is required for emotional honesty because you cannot predict how they will respond to the truth.