17 Ways to Make New Friends

Friends Are Great for Mental Health

December 3, 2024 | Relationships
By Adam Gragg

Vulnerablity is required for making genuine new friends. This means you risk getting rejected, hurt, judged, or mistreated. It means that you reach out to someone without a guarantee that the outcome will be positive.

I’m often asked for advice on how to make new friends. Many people are lonely and many feel they need healthier social influences. Below are the 17 opportunities, based on my own experiences, to expand your support network.

I often fear reaching out to people I havn’t connected with in awhile. Thoughts like “he won’t want to talk”, and “he’s too busy”, enter my mind. When I reach out and connect, It usually goes well and I realize my anxious thoughts aren’t based on reality.

Below are some of the ways my clients have successfully made new friendships over the years. Again, all of these tips involve choosing to not play it safe.

17 Ways Adults Can Make Friends

1. Ask Someone For Help

Don’t just ask people you know well for help. People get joy out of helping others. When you have a legitimate need and you give someone the chance to meet that need, you’ll make new friends in the process.

2. Accept Invitations

Be spontaneous. Go to parties and other social events when invited. Attend weddings, graduations, showers and birthdays. See them as opportunities to celebrate and potentially meet good new people.

3. Attend Events

A great byproduct of supporting a child (a friend’s child, your nephew, niece, your kids, neighbor’s children, etc.) is that you might meet some good people. Football games, plays, and community events are ripe with opportunities to connnect. Many strong friendships form through this natural connection.

4. Volunteer

When you volunteer, you’ll meet people with similar interests (e.g. volunteer at the Humane Society and you meet pet lovers, volunteer mentoring youth and you meet others with the same heart). Voluteering conncts you with people who have similar passions.

5. Meet Your Neighbors

You neighbors can potentially become close friends. You have opportunities to connect each day. Invite them over, bring them cookies, and talk to them when you see them.

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6. Connect With Friends From the Past

Ask a high school friend to lunch. Attend reunions. Connect with someone you worked with in the past. Friendships from years ago can be swiftly and suprizingly rekindled when you risk reaching out.

7. Talk to Strangers

Challenge yourself to meet somebody new each day. Friendly people make friends. Unfriendly people don’t. Be curious. You can learn something from everyone you meet. People are drawn to other who genuinely want to get to know them.

8. Engage Your Hobbies

People connect over common interests. If you love reading, join a book club. Go to the gym if you enjoy working out. If you like golf, work it into your schedule consistently. Having simliar interests with someone won’t create a friendship on it own, but it can break the ice to allow communication to flow.

9. Participate in a Support Group, Civic Group, or Association

Groups like Rotary International, Toastmasters, or your local chamber of commerce come to mind. You learn, help the community, and can meet interesting and positive people. When you’re struggling in an area of life, get support. Your chances of recovery increase, and positive connections form in these environments. Al-Anon, Weight Watchers, Divorce Care, GriefShare, and Alcoholics Anonymous are a few that come to mind.

10. Turn Family Into Friends

Who says your siblings or cousins cannot become close friends? Sometimes we miss the most obvious opportunities for friendships. Our relationships with siblings, cousins, aunts, and uncles can transform into deep friendships.

11. Be A Leader (Choose Discomfort)

Choose to lead and/or facilitate a group. Start a golf group, reading group, bible study, singles group, and any type of group your passionate about that helps others. You’ll stretch yourself, grow your leadership skills, help others, and connect with good people.

Friendly people make new friends best. Read or reread the classic How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Get genuinely curious about others and learn more about them through asking great questions.

13. Connect With a Colleague

Working at the same company or in the same industry has sparked many friendships. You share common interests and a shared purpose.

14. Meet People Older and Younger

I have good friends 20 years younger and some 30 years older. It’s tempting to want to build friendships with people of a similar age. You’ll gain new insight and perspective from those of different ages and find they can become great true friends.

15. Take (or Teach) a Class

Enroll in a course to learn a new skill (e.g. woodworking, photography, personal finance, painting). You’ll meet like-minded people in the process.

16. Be Positive & Encouraging

Grouchy and negative people push people away. They have tunnel vision and see the obstacle over the opportunities. Young people focus on opportunities and see the potential.

17. Help People Out

A question I like to ask people is “What are your top 3 goals over teh next 90 days.” Ask this question and help people get there the best you can. Even if you just met them, you will have something inspiring to share.